


Love doesn't need words

by thegreystar



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Short One Shot, i had an idea here it is, i honestly don't know wtf to tag this as, stupid men inlove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:48:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25122652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreystar/pseuds/thegreystar
Summary: " It's been a few months now since the boat incident. Since then, Ben has  been troubled with the revelation of what It meant for him. Since his meltdown in the kitchen,  Callum has had first hand experience watching Ben struggle with coming to terms with it. "
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	Love doesn't need words

**Author's Note:**

> I was hoping someone would write this idea and better than me but no one did so you are subjected to my bad writing. No beta. Smut? feelings? Fluff ? I don't know what the fuck this is but enjoy :D
> 
> I sometimes have a song that inspires me when I write. So If your interested to listen to while you read. Song - Anyway by Noah Kahan

It's been a few months now since the boat incident. Since then, Ben has been troubled with the revelation of what It meant for him. Since his meltdown in the kitchen, Callum has had first hand experience watching Ben struggle with coming to terms with it.

For the most part, Ben was the same. He smiles the same and quick with his tongue to strike in any conversation. When he enters a room his presence cannot be easily ignored but Callum can see the corners of his mouth doesn't reach his eyes. The way he hesitates before he speaks or pretends to be engaged in conversations. All the bravado that Ben's displays during the day in front of people, Callum sees right through it and he sees him falter when the curtains are drawn in for the day.

In their moments alone, he sees the Ben without all the armor that's stripped away. Some days are better than most when he is soft and melts into his arms, accepting of Callum's love. Other days the walls are up, prickled and sharp, ready to draw blood. He would snapped when he is too impatient with himself and push Callum away. Even those days, Callum was there open arms, accepting and Ben would crumble, apologize and let himself fall into Callum's embrace.

Today, It was one of those bad days. Callum had notice a shift in Ben's mood last night, like the despair of things he kept at bay had won in it's ongoing battle inside his head, wormed it's way to the front of his mind and taken hold of his boyfriend. Callum can only be there to witness. It started off as something simple, an accident while they were in the kitchen making breakfast. Unable to hear Callum's warning, Ben turned before he could move out of the way, spilling hot liquid as the mugs crash against the floor. _'It's okay'._ Callum signs to Ben before reaching out to place his hands on his shoulders but Ben quickly dismiss his attempts. Upset and embarrassed, he cursed to himself, kneeling to clean the pieces off the floor before heading out the door, leaving their breakfast cold on the table.

During the day when Callum decided to stop by Maxium Motors as they planned to have quick bite together. He stood by the open doorway, watching Ben as he sat there staring at the phone light blinking. A client he presume calling and when his boyfriend moved to canceled the call. Within seconds the lights blinked again, urgently as if taunting him. Before Callum could react, Ben yanked the cord out. Deliberately ignoring Callum's gaze as he got up and struts right over kissing him before suggesting where they could eat. So he smiled trying to keep his spirits up, if that's what Ben needed now, Callum would let it go.

It was later when they were in Ben's room that the walls broke down. In the midst of exchanging heated kisses. They were lost tangled in the sheets. Ben initiated it, kisses that were a desperate plea for wanting something more to forget the day and Callum is happy to oblige. He was already in bed reading a book on 'sign language for beginners' as Ben stepped in the room fully showered and dressed for the night. Damp tousled brown hair and cool pale skin and even then, Callum could see the defeatism that weighed on his shoulders and those blue eyes staring at him. He smiled at him, flipping the covers, inviting him with his hand outstretched for him to take. Instead of resting, Ben took it as a invitation, claiming Callum lips and using his weight to guide Callum to lie down, pulling Ben on top of him.

Now they were bare-chested, shirts thrown carelessly somewhere on the floor. Lost in sweetness of each others lips with Callum's hands running along Ben's back with purpose. He could get lost nipping at Ben's lips but he knew something was wrong as he felt Ben's hesitance, taut above him. He pulls back, looking up at him with soft hands on cupping his lover's face.

“Ben?” Callum says confusion across his face unable to read Ben's expression as he gazed up at him.

“Hey, what's wrong?” He asks, slowly as he watch Ben's eyes gazing at his lips. He waited for his response but Ben simply leans into his touch, eye contact never breaking. There was strange expression of perturbation he had seen Ben looked at him with before and now.

“We could stop, eh ?” Callum continues, running his left hand through Boyfriend's hair.“No rush if you're not feeling up to it.”

There was a moment of silence, as if a debate in his mind on what to say as he looks down then spoke softly. “You know, when we watch those trashy shows on the tele in the evening...” He paused and smiled to himself, “You always would ramble on and I would just listen to the sound of your voice even though half the time I didn't understand what hell you were talking about but it always made me feel better.”

Callum frowned, confused but waiting for Ben to finish. When he looks up, his eyes glossed over, sadness in those blue eyes he loved so much.

“I- I'm scared...I- I won't remember what your voice sounds like.” Ben closed his eyes, his mind replaying the tone of his voice, things he had said, the way Callum would say his name. The way he whispers in his ears first light in the morning. he'd missed those early morning conversations they would have, after their bodies are warm from sex and blissed out, they would snuggled under the sheets with pillow talks exchanged in the dark. Those small moments taken away from him.

He wiped the fresh tear with his thumbs pulling Ben close pressing their foreheads together, not trusting his self to speak in that moment. What could he say? He haven't thought of it like that. It's those small moments that goes unnoticed and it's the ones that Ben missed the most. Callum would give everything to get Ben what he wanted but the cards are out of his hands. Even though there was nothing he could to change it, feeling helpless as he does, he would still choose every moment with Ben no matter what form it took. He was still the same Ben.

He was still _his_ Ben.

In his plight, he grabs Ben's wrist, placing his hands flat on his neck then pull his face away to get his attention. “You feel this?

Ben nods, brows furrowed as he looks at Callum as he spoke slow and with tenderness. “It's not the same. I know, but you'll learn it a different way.”

He could feel Ben tries to pull his hand away but Callum hold it firmly. “Come on...” Callum encouraged him gently, words filled with love reassuring him. Ben close his eyes, allowing the all his shame and loud thoughts in his mind gone muffled, consuming himself to this moment. He open his eyes, feeling the vibration underneath his finger tips as Callum speaks. His words incoherent to his ears but as he move his hands spread across his boyfriend's neck and to his lips. The vibration that runs through him `with every word or the way his adam's apple danced under his fingers. He gazed intensely, reading the words falling from Callum's lips settled warmth in his heart.

“I love you.”

He wants to memorize the feeling, like the beat to your favorite song, folded into the pages of his mind through his fingertips. So he stares intently at those soft lips as his fingers spread, caressing, forming to his lover's neck. Maybe it didn't mean anything, just vibrations, muffled wavering with no distinct beat that he could follow. If there was any aspect of Callum he could save to memory, Ben wanted savor it.

“Say it again.” Ben whispered.

Callum held his wrist firmly, caressing his cheek lovelingly then look at him with all the love he could earnest for Ben to see.

“I. Love. you.”

There were no words for the warmth Ben felt stirred within his soul. He couldn't fathom the love this man felt for him. The depths of what it meant, why Callum would still stick around with him. To see those warm blue eyes gazing at him with love shatter all those dark thoughts in a moment that he could cry. Instead, he surge forward, claiming his lips once more. Saying what he could with actions that he couldn't with words. The rest of their clothing removed making themselves fully bare, with their hearts burning and want in their loins. Relishing in the taste of Callum's lips and his powerful body underneath his touch. With Ben deep in his most intimate parts. Pushing and pulling Callum apart. Loving hands moving along his body and fingers in his scratching at his skin finding some purchase.

Intoxicating and wholeheartedly lost in their love for each other. His legs wrapped around Ben, he opens his eyes to see Ben watching him, flushed and captivated by the beauty in front of him was enough to send him fervidly to the edge. The building of the heat under his skin becomes too much till it explodes, back arching and all the emotions that burning from within with Ben right there with him. At the top of his lungs for Ben to feel every fiber of his being. He would raise his voice to the heavens if he could all for the man who claimed his heart and never let go.

Bissed out and his soul bared open and still vulnerable to all he confessed, Ben rest his head his chest, wrapped in Callum's strong arms. No words needed to be exchanged. All the passion and emotions all spent from their bodies so they stayed wrapped in the safety of each other till the light breaks for a new day. Callum knows nothing has changed in the grand scheme of things, he know they will still have bad days but they will also have the good days.

Today was a good day as they got up and ready to face the day together. Somehow closer than they were before touching and holding hands as they went down stairs to the kitchen to Kathy's judgmental stare and a smirk across Lol's face.

“ I'm glad that you guys are so well rested.” Lola giggled taking a sip of her tea watching the confused looks on their faces.

“D'you know the walls are paper thin.” Kathy scowls, “I couldn't sleep a wink last night with the two of you having a very good time, apparently!” She huffs before taking a sip of her coffee while Lola laughs.

“Oh, my God.” Callum face red to the brim. “I-I'm so sorry Kathy! I - ”

Ben nudges his boyfriend to get his attention, confused with what's happening as he watch Callum fumbles to find the words. It took a few seconds for Ben to catch on before he was wiping tears from his eyes laughing along with Lola as he watch Callum red faced and horrified expression, flustered to make words.

Wrapping his arms around Callum's waist, he decided to rile his boyfriend by sharing details with his mother. Both dreading to suffer anymore as he tried to cover Ben's mouth threatening him before pulling back. If the floor could open up whole to swallow him, Callum could only pray it would but seeing Ben eyes beaming as he laughed, soft and warm in his arms. These moments that Callum cherished.

Well, that was worth staying for.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this doesn't offend anyone that's deaf, I had an idea and well, here it is.  
> Leave a comment or not. Thanks for reading <3


End file.
